Month: January 2010

Fair is your honest happy face
Great chieftain of the pudding race
Above them all you take your place
Stomach, tripe or guts
Well are you worthy of a grace
As long as my arm

The groaning platter there you fill
Your buttocks like a distant hill
Your skewer would help to repair a mill
In time of need
While through your pores the juices emerge
Like amber beads

His knife having seen hard labour wipes
And cuts you up with great skill
Digging into your gushing insides bright
Like any ditch
And then oh what a glorious sight
Warm steaming, rich

Then spoon for spoon
They stretch and strive
Devil take the last man, on they drive
Until all their well swollen bellies
Are bent like drums
Then, the old gent most likely to rift (burp)
Be thanked, mumbles

Is there that over his French Ragout
Or olio that would sicken a pig
Or fricassee would make her vomit
With perfect disgust
Looks down with a sneering scornful opinion
On such a dinner

Poor devil, see him over his trash
As week as a withered rush (reed)
His spindle-shank a good whiplash
His clenched fist.the size of a nut.
Through a bloody flood and battle field to dash
Oh how unfit

But take note of the strong haggis fed Scot
The trembling earth resounds his tread
Clasped in his large fist a blade
He’ll make it whistle
And legs and arms and heads he will cut off
Like the tops of thistles

You powers who make mankind your care
And dish them out their meals
Old Scotland wants no watery food
That splashes in dishes
But if you wish her grateful prayer
Give her a haggis!

Thank you, World Burns Club:
http://www.worldburnsclub.com

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Where have I been? What have I been doing?

If the photos are to be believed:

I met the President.

Marched in a zombie parade, aka Ghouls Gone Wild featuring The Flaming Lips and the march of 1000 Skeletons.

Learned come colonial kung-fu (and grew sideburns. I look more like a pirate. *sigh*).

Visited a cemetery for circus folk.

Had a light-sabre duel at the office Festivus party (it was our Feat of Strength this year).

Basically, I’ve been larking off. My apologies. From now on, more book talk from yours truly. Speaking of book-talk, more specifically, a book story, I’ve got a whopper I’ve been holding on to since summer time, and in many ways is still unfolding.

So don’t delete me from your reader just yet. There is more to come!

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I love LibraryThing. I know there are other websites to catalog the books you read or own or have ever looked at (judging some), but Library Thing really understands people who love books. One of my favorite features is the libraries of famous folks. People like Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Ernest Hemingway, Marilyn Monroe, and Tupac have had their personal libraries cataloged for the curious.

These Legacy Libraries, as they’re known, are group cataloging projects usually undertaken by many members. The Legacy Library project has been going for a couple of years (or so), and the contents are amazing! You can explore the discussions and see what libraries are included so far here: http://www.librarything.com/groups/iseedeadpeoplesbooks.

And, if you have recorded your own library (like I have), you can compare books. The first 200 books are free, after that, you have to buy a membership, which has a $25 for life level which I bought a long time ago, and it has paid for itself many, many times over.

If there’s one thing Library Thing loves, it’s statistics. For instance, I now know I share 55 books with Ernest Hemingway, but only 5 with Sir Walter Scott.

Another person, rather, character, I share 5 books with is Roger Mifflin. Haven’t heard of him? Maybe it’s been a while, but Mr. Mifflin is the owner/ operator of Parnassus on Wheels and The Haunted Bookshop, both books by Christopher Morley.

I read both books while enjoying the Great Christmas Eve Blizzard of 2009 (record snowfall in Oklahoma!), and noted the books mentioned that belonged to Mifflin, or references the character made that could be traced to a specific book. Then I created a catalog of Roger’s personal library and voila, we now have our first fictional library among the Legacy Libraries. You can compare your books with Roger’s here: http://www.librarything.com/profile/RogerMifflinLibrary.

Also, in the vein of Christopher Morley, whom I truly adore —

Happy Birthday Sherlock Holmes! Today, January 6th, is widely recognized to be the master detective’s date of birth. Morley, of course, was a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes and was a founder of the Baker Street Irregulars, one of the more famous bibliophile societies in the USA.

If you’ve seen the new Sherlock Holmes movie, get out and find one of the books. I did. I found a small stack at my local used bookstore for under a few bucks. All of them are quick, fun reads. I’ll celebrate Sherlock’s birthday by continuing to read The Valley of Fear, which I’ve never read before and am enjoying.

What about you, gentle reader? Do you have a favorite Sherlock Holmes read? Let me know in the comments! 

About the Author: Benjamin L. Clark writes and works as a museum curator.